Give Yourself The Benefit of The Doubt

doubt_smWhy do so many people believe in self-sabotage, convinced they deliberately trip themselves, purposely cultivating self-harm as they go?  People wonder why they can’t leave an unsatisfying relationship, can’t improve their self-care, or can’t embrace abundance, concluding since they can’t do what seems obvious they must want to suffer.  We know from the Akashic Records while you sometimes appear to act against your own best interests, you fundamentally want to preserve and sustain yourself, not harm yourself.  Buried somewhere in everything you do lies a genuine benefit, something helpful.

Instead of criticizing yourself, give yourself the benefit of the doubt.  For the moment, suspend believing self-loathing or a lack of self-discipline or any other supposed character flaw prevents change.  The benefit of the doubt trusts your inner wisdom, trusts you know what you need until you don’t need it any more, trusts you look out for yourself.  Change happens naturally when you’re ready and when you give yourself the benefit of the doubt you align with yourself and invite readiness.  Plus when you make peace with your choices, from the ones you love to the ones you might regret, you interrupt your inner critic and the angst it brings.

Clearly we engage in behaviors that don’t appear to serve us as well as other actions might have.  Know these “mistakes” serve you at a soul level.  Wield the benefit of the doubt brush widely and wildly for yourself, connecting to the truth of always doing your best given your current skill set and mindset, how everything you experience optimizes your soul’s evolution, and how at a deep level you aim for what supports you even if you swear the evidence suggests otherwise.

What happens if you let yourself off the hook and give yourself the benefit of the doubt?  Does the idea make you feel lighter or heavier?


  1. Hi Christy,
    I love the idea of interrupting my inner critic. While getting rid of her entirely would be ideal, it is reassuring to read that simply interrupting her would diminish the power she has over me. Thanks for an uplifting post!
    Joanne 🙂


    • Hi Joanne,
      Inner critics seem to be life-long companions, don’t they? Always “helping,” always suggesting ways we could “improve” when the greatest improvement might simply be his or her silence!

      You’re welcome, my pleasure, and thank you for your interest and post.
      All the best,


  2. So helpful! Sigh…Tears of relief just at the idea, that I am not failing me, thus the universe every time I don’t meditate or watch mindless tv, instead of the physical struggle to do a task. All is good and as it ought to be….


    • Teena,
      I’m so glad this post brought relief. Yes, we sometimes need meditation and we sometimes need mindless TV (or whatever). All is well and shall be well forever and ever. I feel like I need to say Amen after that. 😉
      Take good care,


  3. This feels so much lighter, Christy. I love consciously noticing those times when I am tempted to start beating myself up, and then shifting back into self-love and acceptance, rather than traveling down that long lonely road of self-blame and self-abandonment. Thank you for another wonderful and wise post.


    • Annemarie,
      Yes, I love when it feels lighter! I also love what you said about your conscious noticing and subsequent shifts, I feel relief just reading it!

      You’re welcome, thank you for your kind words and your lovely comment.
      Warm regards,


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s