Seeing Eye to Eye

eye2eye_smWhile instituting fresh starts this year, consider releasing comparison.  Comparing leads to suffering since it generally leads to someone evaluated as worth “less” versus someone else as worth “more.”  If someone gets labeled smarter, prettier, or more personable, it means someone else becomes dumber, uglier, or less personable.  Perceived inequities can lead to alienation, a feeling of separateness from the rest of the either superior or inferior humans.  Comparison can also lead to pride or envy, neither of which satisfies at a soul level.  When one of these “unequal” patterns surfaces during my Akashic Records readings, one person appears above the other, preventing direct eye contact between the two.  If two people can’t make eye contact, they can’t connect at a heart level, either.

Feeling inferior alienates via a perceived deficit, feeling you don’t have what other humans do.  You might work extra hard to compensate or you might give up.  When the feeling gets intense, you might feel like isolating yourself to avoid the pain of “not enough,” of not belonging here or anywhere.

Feeling superior alienates through distinguishing yourself as better than others, perhaps even in a class all to yourself.  Feeling superior can bring a variety of pitfalls with it: the frustration and annoyance with all the supposedly inferior beings, not feeling sufficiently revered, perhaps fear around needing to work to sustain your superiority, and the inherent loneliness of the belief “I’m the only one like me.”

To realize inner and outer peace and harmony, we have to move toward equality, existing on the same level, able to look each other directly in the eye instead of experiencing either disempowerment or grandiosity.  Our gifts, skills, and attributes differ but we all contribute to the diverse whole and the amazing potential of humanity.  Releasing estrangement from others and yourself powerfully impacts all beings.  You might affirm “Who and how I am is perfect for me.  Who and how they are is perfect for them.”  For those applying Jin Shin Jyutsu® acupressure, Safety Energy Locks (SEL) 14, 24 through 26, organ flows Small Intestine and Heart, and your pinkie finger harmonize judging, comparing, and labeling.

How do you release comparing?  What supports you feeling equal, seeing eye to eye?

12 comments

  1. Hi Christy, It’s so important to realize that we all have something to contribute. During my teaching days, I stressed this fact often, especially with my co-op students who spent part of the semester in workplaces. While some had “plum” placements (hospital, university, radio station), others did not. There were challenges along the way, but by the end of semester, most of the students were able to proudly display their boards at the career fair.

    Love this quote => You might affirm “Who and how I am is perfect for me. Who and how they are is perfect for them.”

    Thanks for sharing another insightful post. 🙂

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    • Hi Joanne,
      Thanks for sharing your teaching story – what a great example! As someone said in our Spiritchat yesterday, “Comparison is the enemy of joy.” So true!

      I’m glad you loved the quote and it’s absolutely my pleasure to share my posts. Thanks for your loyal readership.

      In gratitude,
      Christy

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  2. Thanks for this insightful blog on comparison. I do have to purposefully catch myself when I am comparing my choices to the choices others make. I find Maya Angelou’s advice (at least I think that is who Oprah got it from) “When we know better, we do better” helpful to release the judgment that resides so closely to comparison for me. I also remind myself it is not my role or job to teach people, they will discover as they need to without me inserting myself where I have not been invited.
    The other thing that your blog brought to mind, is my penchant of comparing me now, to who I was, what my health was like, what my weight was, my viewpoints were, etc. This has me wondering if marking my ‘progress’ through my life has any validity at all, or if I am merely losing the moment by using that precious drop of time on the past. Life after Eckhart Tolle may never be the same, but if I don’t use comparison, how would I know~do I need to know? ACK! 🙂

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    • You’re most welcome, Teena, and thanks for your thoughtful comment. We definitely can’t skip knowing better to arrive at doing better! I think “noticing shifts” might have a different flavor than “marking progress” which suggests something needed fixing. Awareness of a greater level of comfort and joy now than we once had, for example, is a lovely thing. In contrast, evaluating ourselves as better or worse clearly doesn’t support us, it just makes us either judgmental about how things are or anxious about what we could lose.
      Appreciating you,
      Christy

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      • Thanks again Christie. I think I am not yet ready for such a nuanced difference between a shift and an improvement, but it is a great goal. I thought further about my comment that comparison and judgement are related for me. I came to the realization that the birth emotion for those two in my world is self-pity. So helpful for me as that is a perception I can habitually fall into, but when I catch myself I can bring that back around. My thanks again for helping me return to the land of the thankful:)

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      • Thanks for sharing your latest insights, Teena. I too find comparison and judgment often hang out together. I hadn’t considered their connection to self-pity, though, thanks for giving me something new to consider. I’m so happy to hear you’ve returned to the land of the thankful!

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  3. Thanks Christy!
    I try to catch myself when I find myself doing this. Usually when I am feeling a bit depressed about something in my life, this will pop up in my mind.
    Wishing you a Happy New Year 2014!
    Ernestine

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    • Thank you, Ernestine! What you describe makes sense as we’re more likely to fall into unhelpful old thinking when we’re not feeling our best. Good for you for catching it! I wish you a Happy New Year as well.
      Warm regards,
      Christy

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  4. Christy, thank you for this powerful observation, “that if two people can’t make eye contact, they can’t connect on a heart level either.” I think this is an important message as “we” can find ourselves in a constant barrage comparison and ranking messages. This hits home for me presently as my son and I contemplate plans for what comes after high school graduation this year.
    Happy New Year
    Tricia

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    • Great comment, Tricia, thank you. While do have to evaluate what’s best for us and our children, if we have them, it doesn’t mean we have to get caught up in the culturally contagious anxiety around what’s better or worse. The wide variety of higher education institutions exist because students are diverse, one size does not fit all!
      Happy New Year to you too,
      Christy

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  5. Christy – this is a great reminder for me to accept people as they are and not compare how they do something to how I would have done it. As to Teena’s comments about comparing self to the past – I focus on the journey. I wouldn’t be here today, in this moment, without that journey. There are ups, downs, twists and turns. Each day I look for something that gives me joy, that I am thankful for, or that inspires me. It helps me focus on today and not compare myself to the past.

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    • Thanks for your comment, Joannee, I especially love your second to last line! Our focus determines our experience. I so agree what we’ve experienced, and everyone else for that matter, brings us to where we are and allows us to move ahead to what’s next.
      Many thanks,
      Christy

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