Back in my engineering days I sometimes applied an inquiry process asking “What is and what is not the problem?” which can also help with personal issues and challenges. Often what you perceive as the problem completely misses the mark. Beginning where you’d like a shift to occur initiates the inquiry but probably doesn’t capture the soul level root cause.
Suppose a friend or family member of yours always takes advantage of you, never reciprocates your kindness, and rarely appreciates what you do for her. What is and what is not the problem for you here? On the surface her behavior appears problematic and for her, it probably is! She owns her behavior and must decide whether to change it or not. Further inquiry into the problem for you might reveal an attachment to believing she needs to change and judging the fact she doesn’t, especially if she doesn’t perceive a need for a shift. Drilling down even further it becomes about you, the place where you can apply your awareness and take action. How does the relationship make you feel? You probably feel like a victim when you help her and feel guilty if you don’t. At this level you can harmonize guilt with Jin Shin Jyutsu® by holding your ring finger so you can consciously decide how to proceed in the relationship.
With a curious and open mind, explore whatever challenge you face. Ask about the real problem for you and go deeper. Recognize most soul level solutions come from within, not externally. Keep inquiring until you reach an “Aha!” or sense of awareness. It may take a while and you may require someone objective to assist you. Once you grasp the soul level problem, a path to harmony can surface.
What is and what is not the problem? How do you know when you’ve identified “the” problem?