Forgiveness: Drop What Burns You

Forgiveness“Forgiveness: Let go of resentments, judgments, and fears, and reduce your investment in staying hurt or angry. To forgive is to live in a world that is at peace with human nature.” Extending forgiveness to yourself and others means you drop hot coals burning inside you. Staying hurt or angry robs you of peace and ease. Resentments, judgments, and fears burn valuable energy which you could redirect toward what nourishes you. Forgiveness gives everyone more latitude to do their human best.

Sometimes forgiveness requires you to release denial or an old attachment or belief. You likely realize what you disown in yourself you often dislike in others. The flip side to this arises when you get hard on yourself while denying someone else’s misbehavior. Turning a blind eye may seem kind but not when it causes you unnecessary pain. Sometimes you have to admit hard truths about people in your life. You can forgive them for not realizing their potential and forgive yourself for believing in it for so long.

If you’re like me, self-forgiveness challenges you more than forgiving others. You may still get hooked by your self-expectations, by the idea you ought to know better and do better whereas you can more easily give others the benefit of the doubt. Holding yourself to a higher standard than everyone else may seem reasonable because at least you own your own actions but expecting to stretch beyond your humanness isolates and punishes you. Ironically isolation and punishment bring harm, often resulting in worse outcomes. Think of someone dieting who decides they might as well eat an entire cake once they’ve slipped and eaten one piece. Sometimes you need to apply forgiveness to your powerlessness, your apparent inability to ever create a lasting shift either for yourself in a case like the cake or for others such as trying to help someone committed to their suffering. You may also have to forgive yourself for doing less for people who can’t receive what you give.

Forgiveness occurs most deeply when you realize there’s nothing to forgive. Indeed we humans speak and act unforgivably at times. Yet the benevolence of the universe demonstrates how forgiveness gives you a key to unlock from the past and move toward people and thoughts which sustain and support you. Giving and receiving forgiveness becomes a gift to you and to everyone connected to you.

In what situations does forgiveness feel challenging for you? Do you have a forgiveness success story to share?

The forgiveness quote comes from The Original Angel Card Book – Inspirational Messages and Meditations by Kathy Tyler and Joy Drake.

 

10 comments

  1. Hi, Christy

    I did a post on the relationship of forgiveness and illness such as cancer. last week
    Many illnesses will disappear after releasing forgiveness to others and ourselves.
    Um-forgiveness is really like a bag of snakes living inside us.
    They silently eat away our well being.
    The greatest challenge for me is to forgive myself. I find to forgive others is much more easier.
    – Stella Chiu

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    • Hi Stella,
      Thanks for sharing. I agree on the bag of snakes! Holding on to what hurts naturally keeps the hurt activated. Self-forgiveness is a real challenge! Learning to forgive others supports learning to forgive ourselves since at the root of things we all share universal energy. May you find gentle and kind self-forgiveness. May we all find it!
      Warm regards,
      Christy

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  2. Thanks for sharing this post on Wendy’s page. I went through a very difficult time with a family member that was and is a psychopath. Forgiveness came eventually and mostly I realized it was for me and he didn’t even have to be a part of it, not did it mean I had to allow him back into my life. Some people do not belong in your life, especially if their brain wiring is missing a conscience.

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    • Hi Deanna,
      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experience with forgiveness. A psychopathic family member is the perfect example of how hard forgiveness can be but what a gift it can be to move past who and what cannot be changed! I love your last sentence. Such truth and clarity!
      Warm regards,
      Christy

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  3. Thank you so much for your blogs, which contain important teachings that perfectly support my start into the practice of jsj, where I am finally finding the comprehensive healing I’ve sought all my 68 years. I feel I could write paragraphs about the healings the last couple of months have wrought, but I thought it would be more fun yet no less honest to applaud the perfect illustration you’ve used for this particular blog; the stones dropping from the opening hands are a completely apt image of what the impactions in my “personal plumbing” have felt like for most of my life–a painfully clenched fist full of sharp rocks–and how freeing it is as the heavy “stones” start dropping away because they no longer have a home inside me and because I’m learning to simply unclench and let them go. Not to try to force them out, simply to let the burden of them drop of its own weight. Thank you, you write so articulately and aptly that it’s a pleasure to read your blog.

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    • Hi Carla,
      Thank you for your comment and interest. It’s great to hear JSJ has made such an impact on your life and how the image on this particular blog post illustrates your own experience! How freeing it is when we realize we can drop the stones weighing us down. May you continue to feel lighter and freer every day!
      Warmly,
      Christy

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      • Thanks, Christy, as is obvious, I’m pretty enthusiastic about jsj and your really helpful and inspirational articles, so I look forward to reading more of them. All the best to you as your own jsj journey continues

        Carla

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