“Honesty: Self-reflection is an opportunity to acknowledge and honor your truth. Give voice to your genuineness and share your authenticity with those around you.” Honesty begins as an inner experience. Knowing yourself allows you to articulate what you need, want, and feel to yourself first. Admitting your truth sometimes feels liberating but can also feel painful. The pain may intensify during the holidays, too, when family members and their expectations clash with what feels important to you. Honoring your truth will lead you through all difficulties.
Tapping into your genuineness allows you to combine honesty with respect for others. Full disclosure might not feel kind or necessary. Genuine disclosure allows compassionate honesty for both you and the listener. It communicates you care enough to take care of yourself without intent to harm another. It also helps to remember Brené Brown’s perspective you must determine who merits receiving your heartfelt truth since one level of disclosure does not fit all. Sometimes honesty requires you to say only enough to attend to your needs.
Facing a hard truth usually means you give up something. Maybe you have to give up your identity as a nice person, a good child, or the one willing to sacrifice. Maybe you give up the fantasy your father, mother, brother, or sister (your pick!) will ever reform, play nice, or reciprocate. Every time my husband visited his great-grandmother she complained he never visited. How lovely and yet impossible it would have been for her to instead say, “I love it when you visit because I enjoy our time together so much!” Like most people, she behaved consistently throughout her lifetime which in her case prevented close relationships with her family.
Honesty releases energy spent avoiding the truth. Sometimes just admitting something to yourself brings relief. If you can then communicate your perspective authentically, more energy gets freed. Plus as you strengthen your own authentic self, you can develop neutrality toward others’ reactions and behaviors while still acting on your own behalf, further conserving mental and emotional energy.
Do you find it harder to be honest with yourself or with others? Do you feel honesty requires full disclosure?
The honesty quote came from The Original Angel Card Book – Inspirational Messages and Meditations by Kathy Tyler and Joy Drake.