Accept Your Difficult Emotions, Love Yourself

All EmotionsNegative emotions may feel like enemies. Some people experience their negative feelings too intensely, leading to overwhelm. Others find themselves unable or unwilling to feel their negative emotions at all. In my case, my family didn’t discuss difficult emotions or express them overtly. I realize now my unrecognized emotions led to my cynical, sarcastic outlook in high school and also fed my judging mind. Although I evolved beyond most of this discomfort, my internal judgments linger, especially when it comes to my feelings.

See if you can avoid getting angry at your anger, saddened by your sadness, invalidated when you feel invalidation. My conditioning taught me my wants, needs, and feelings did not matter to the point they didn’t even exist. For many years I discounted my anger, believing others experienced it but not me. As anger began to surface, I found myself getting angrier and angrier about the anger itself. Negative feelings alert you to what needs loving care. When I feel angry about continuously failing to meet unrealistic expectations, it doesn’t make me a bad person or a bad daughter. It makes me someone doing her best under difficult circumstances. I remind myself loving-kindness toward self and others supports everyone’s highest good.

Several Jin Shin Jyutsu® (JSJ) acupressure self-helps support emotions in motion. Safety Energy Lock (SEL) 13 and the breathing flow (use high 19 and opposite high 1) both open you to your emotions. The First Method of Correction (hold high SEL 19) addresses stuck emotional energy and the Lung organ self-help invites emotional responsiveness. For emotional equilibrium, play with SEL 12, 13, 23, and/or 24. It also helps to release conditioning, karma, and soul contracts. Visualize holding them in your closed fist and then open your hand to drop them.

Were emotions in general or specific emotional states taboo in your family? Have you made peace with all emotions? How did you get there?

 

2 comments

  1. Hi Christy! Based on my own experience, I know how hard you have worked to get to this point. I have always thought anger was a waste of energy. I have fine tuned that thought to thinking misappropriated anger is a waste of energy. It can serve a purpose. Indeed, the history of man would show cases of this. However, overwhelmingly now, we see cases of misplaced anger. I think this comes from those who have not faced it as you have. The downside to my view of anger is that I didn’t use it at all. The consequence of which was I stuffed it down to the point I didn’t recognize it and when the time came for it to be honored and recognized, it wasn’t pretty.

    I think my experience is a great mirror of the society we see today. Anger comes up in all of my work, but primarily with caregivers and human trafficking. I didn’t have this experience, but I have had people tell me, that giving up anger is liking giving up a friend and they fear that consequence. That confirms what I have suspected and research supports, anger is wrapped up in fear all the way around. Indeed, we often speak of fear and anger as two separate beings, but there’s a tipping point where I think they merge and become one.

    At this point, I have developed a habit of recognizing anger for what it is. Saying thank you, but I’ve got this and reminding myself of two governing words – unconditional love. And when all that fails, I forgive myself, make amends as necessary and move forward.

    Thank you for your post. It can’t help but resonate.

    Like

    • Hi Lil,
      Thanks for sharing your experience with anger. I believe many of us, especially women, have been told anger isn’t okay. I think feeling stuffing is a common but rarely sustainable response! In JSJ all negative emotions arise from fear. In the case of anger, it’s the fear of not getting what you want. (Here’s a link to a post about it: Fear Fueling Anger) Of course we don’t want what hurts! Letting emotions such as anger to move up and out is the only way we’ll reconcile ourselves to reality. We did get hurt, we do hurt others, and thank goodness forgiveness can re-open our hearts and minds. I love the idea of thanking your anger and for invoking “unconditional love.”

      You’re welcome and thank you again. Continued best wishes on the amazing work you do in the world…
      Love and hugs,
      Christy

      Like

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