Negative emotions may feel like enemies. Some people experience their negative feelings too intensely, leading to overwhelm. Others find themselves unable or unwilling to feel their negative emotions at all. In my case, my family didn’t discuss difficult emotions or express them overtly. I realize now my unrecognized emotions led to my cynical, sarcastic outlook in high school and also fed my judging mind. Although I evolved beyond most of this discomfort, my internal judgments linger, especially when it comes to my feelings.
See if you can avoid getting angry at your anger, saddened by your sadness, invalidated when you feel invalidation. My conditioning taught me my wants, needs, and feelings did not matter to the point they didn’t even exist. For many years I discounted my anger, believing others experienced it but not me. As anger began to surface, I found myself getting angrier and angrier about the anger itself. Negative feelings alert you to what needs loving care. When I feel angry about continuously failing to meet unrealistic expectations, it doesn’t make me a bad person or a bad daughter. It makes me someone doing her best under difficult circumstances. I remind myself loving-kindness toward self and others supports everyone’s highest good.
Several Jin Shin Jyutsu® (JSJ) acupressure self-helps support emotions in motion. Safety Energy Lock (SEL) 13 and the breathing flow (use high 19 and opposite high 1) both open you to your emotions. The First Method of Correction (hold high SEL 19) addresses stuck emotional energy and the Lung organ self-help invites emotional responsiveness. For emotional equilibrium, play with SEL 12, 13, 23, and/or 24. It also helps to release conditioning, karma, and soul contracts. Visualize holding them in your closed fist and then open your hand to drop them.
Were emotions in general or specific emotional states taboo in your family? Have you made peace with all emotions? How did you get there?